Today I experienced a trauma that I wouldn’t wish upon any living soul.
You could call this a rant but there is opportunity to learn from my suffering so that others might not have to experience the same anguish.
Today I ordered Mexican takeout and as I was about to leave I asked if they put the chips and salsa in my bag. What she said caught me completely off guard.
She said no…
Then it gets worse. She told me that chips and salsa aren’t included in takeout orders. It’s extra if you want them to go.
But chips and salsa are free if you dine in.
All the fireworks and eagles in the world were suddenly meaningless on this 4th of July. We speak about freedom on this holiday but apparently, this Mexican restaurant says that freedom doesn’t include chips and salsa.
Now I throw around the term, “worse than Hitler” quite a bit but never in history has it been as true as this moment. This treatment, this denial and bamboozlement is unprecedented and inhumane.
If I had access to a genie, my 3 wishes would be as follows:
1. For your dumpster to become forever infested with bears
2. For your tortilla machine to malfunction and be weird
3. For more wishes (it’s not all about you, Mexican restaurant. And the fact that you think it should be, speaks volumes more about you along with the acts of tortilla treachery you’ve committed today.)
I hope one of your precious chips become lodged sideways in your throat and scratches up the sides, and then you make a full recovery.
Of all this talk about “building a wall”, it turns out that it’s not a literal wall, but a metaphorical wall that you are building around my heart.
What if I was counting on the vitamin C in the salsa to stave off a case of borderline scurvy but your blind greed has now doomed me to be riddled with the disease.
I should post pictures of my soon to be scurvical bleeding gums and loose teeth to your Yelp page to warn others what happens if they order take out from you.
May the other Mexican restaurants in the universe learn from your decisions and not follow the same dark path that you have chosen. There is still hope for them to make the right decision.
The flan was good though.
Overall rating: 3/5 stars