A Trip to the Dentist (part 6)
Despite the last dentist visit going pretty well, I’ve put off returning to get the other major work done.
Well, I went in a couple days ago and thought it was only fair to share the experience like I have in the past.
Here we go…
It was dark and not stormy morning. Like everyone does before a dentist appointment I brushed and flossed like a champion.
I think I actually flossed too hard because it made my gums kinda sore. I have been working out recently so maybe I just don’t know how to control my strength yet.
Then my dad and I made the drive to the dentist. They required me to have a driver since the wolf paralyzers they planned to give me are quite powerful.
It all started so fast. I was whisked away to a t̶o̶r̶t̶u̶r̶e̶ dental chair and the lady went right to work on me.
I didn’t know that I was having a cleaning too before the major work. Glad to get it taken care of though.
Cleanings are much better than I recall as a child. They used to use a spinning tiny cup that they would fill with a gritty cleaning slime. It’s been a long time but I think flavor choices were lava soap, prison hooch, or mattress stuffed with old potatoes.
I like the new method better. They use a high-pressure water blaster and a mini ice-pick. Doesn’t taste like anything except the blood that is flying all over the place. Much better than the kid version.
So this went on for a little while. Lady pressure washes my teeth and scrapes around a bit. Then she uses the vacuum tube to suck out the bloody water and spit.
I think it gets recycled into Coor’s Light but the hygienist would not confirm this. They must make her sign a non-disclosure agreement to protect their recipe.
The cleaning wasn’t all that bad. Afterward, she used a different spike to probe into my gums and see how deeply she could jam the spike before I wanted to kill myself.
She did pretty good. I don’t think she broke a record but she tried her best.
The Wolf Paralyzers
Next, I was brought to a different chair and another lady brought in the wolf paralyzers. They smash it into a dust and it goes under the tongue. The taste is somewhat pleasant, like a kiss from an angel. And the angel is really cute and has freckles but not the weird ones that are too close together and makes you feel like you could cross your eyes just perfectly and see one of those 3D images like in those books. Also, the angel is kinda shy and does the thing where she bites her lip and it’s really cute. And she doesn’t complain after you go out with your friends when she says it’s fine at first.
Anyway, this stuff takes a while to kick in. I was getting kinda nervous because every 5 minutes I would notice that I didn’t feel any different.
Then all I remember is someone holding my mouth open and feeling the vibrating tool on my gums. Then the shot. This happened three times I think.
I didn’t care. I didn’t even open my eyes to see the person who was doing this.
Amazingly, this was my last memory of the procedures. My brain must have been in wolf heaven with my wolf ancestors because it certainly wasn’t paying attention to anything happening to me.
Good job brain!
I remember waking up slowly and a lady talking to me. I think she kept poking me in the arm to keep me awake.
Then I think there was a wheelchair and I was home in bed. My dad also stopped to get me some Sonny’s brisket for when I really woke up later.
This was as easy of a dental experience as I could imagine. The staff are all friendly. Lake Baldwin Dental is a great choice for your dental needs.